Britney Spears has hit out at her father – and former conservator – Jamie for ‘ruining the deep seed of my existence.’
The singer, whose almost 14-year conservatorship was sensationally terminated in November, took to Instagram on Tuesday with an impassioned post, claiming her estranged father ‘made me feel ugly’ and admitting the ‘psychological damage’ from him will ‘always be there.’
The Toxic chart-topper, 40, shared a black-and-white photo from her childhood and began the caption by saying, ’13 was the age I actually felt kinda pretty’.
‘He ruined the deep seed of my existence’: Britney Spears has hit out at father Jamie in an impassioned post and claimed he made her feel ‘ugly’ – five months after her conservatorship was terminated
Appearing to allude to her highly-publicised personal problems, the songstress, who is pregnant with her third child, continued: ‘I think my rebellious days were due to the fact that I always had to be perfect and pretty [sic] … then I went to the extremes and went wild and naughty [sic]… but in those rebellious days I honestly still felt hot as f**k [sic]!!!’
Britney then spoke candidly of her conservatorship and how her life has been impacted by her father, 69.
‘One thing the conservatorship did to me … and one of the things that hurt me the most … is that I was always being told I was fat and never good enough [sic]!!! My dad always made me feel like I had to try … try … try !!! BIG TIME !!!
‘He ruined the deep seed of my existence … the seed that made me feel beautiful like when I was 13 … my confidence … my swag … my inner dialogue … and yes even my sex life [sic]… all completely ruined !!! He made me feel ugly … therefore I was [sic]!!!’ she wrote.
The megastar said that ‘uncomfortable conversation is great’ and told her 40million followers that she felt ‘so good’ when the conservatorship was over.
‘Trust me … feeling pretty is a whole different world … I know because I’ve witnessed both !!! If that makes some people feel uncomfortable … GOOD … uncomfortable conversation is great !!!
Having her say: The singer, whose almost 14-year conservatorship was sensationally terminated in November, took to Instagram on Tuesday, admitting the ‘psychological damage’ from her estranged father will ‘always be there’
‘The moment the conservatorship was over … I felt so good about myself !!! And guess what … I stopped trying so damn hard and yes I entered a whole new world [sic]!!!’
She concluded: ‘I felt beautiful … therefore I was [sic]!!! I might feel that way but the psychological damage from my dad and EVERY SINGLE F***ING person who went along with it will always be there [sic]!!! What you think … therefore you are !!! I kinda feel 13 again [sic]!!!’
There are happier times on the horizon for a free Britney – as she expecting her third child with fiancé Sam Asghari.
Loved up: There are happier times on the horizon for a free Britney – as she expecting her third child with fiancé Sam Asghari (pictured)
Britney shared an additional post on the photo-sharing site on Tuesday, giving her fiercely loyal fanbase a peek at her old poems.
‘I used to write all the time !!!,’ she explained alongside some of her work. ‘I had 133 pages … so dumb that I remember … which is actually a lot of poems !!! I had written them in my son’s 5th grade binder that he gave to me [sic]… I had an idea to make a book with it and I thought “Is this work too personal ???”‘, she wrote.
She hailed her originals, ‘by far the best work I had ever done’.
Poetry: Britney shared an additional post on the photo-sharing site on Tuesday, giving her fiercely loyal fanbase a peek at her old poems
‘I saw a book @kimkardashian did with selfies … at that time I wasn’t in the loop I didn’t even know selfies were in [sic]… anyway the 133 pages … well it was by far the best work I had ever done … then I went on tour came back and absolutely all of it was gone … most will say she’s playing the victim but I honestly just say it like it is …’ she continued.
Rounding the caption off, Britney penned: ‘…yeah that was pretty thin to me and I was p***ed so I stopped writing for a very long time … I probably suck and have no idea [suck] but I enjoy it … so I do it … it’s so nice to share with you !!!’
Despite her self-doubt, her devotees rushed to the comments to say: ‘This is deeply beautiful’ and ‘Keep writing queen!!! You are amazing’.
‘I used to write all the time’: The Toxic songstress hailed her originals, ‘by far the best work I had ever done’
Meanwhile, Britney’s younger sister – with whom she is famously at loggerheads – took to social media on Tuesday to share a ‘proud parent’ post.
Jamie Lynn, 31, has two daughters, 13-year-old Maddie with former boyfriend Casey Aldridge and Ivey, four, with husband Jamie Watson.
Sharing an album which celebrated sporty and academic Maddie, Jamie, 31, wrote: ‘Sorryyyy, but I have to do a quick proud parent post for my 4 sport athlete who also kept a 4.0 GPA all year[sic] So proud of her work ethic as an athlete and as a student[sic]’
‘**I wore my tall platform Ugg’s, and she was still taller then me[sic]’.
Sweet: Meanwhile, Britney’s younger sister Jamie Lynn – with whom she is famously at loggerheads – took to social media on Tuesday to share a ‘proud parent’ post (pictured with daughter Maddie, right)