‘I’ve never been happy but now I can’: Dame Kelly Holmes, 52, breaks down crying in emotional This Morning interview after coming out as gay… as she brings Phillip Schofield to tears
Dame Kelly Holmes broke down crying during a Monday appearance on This Morning, after coming out as gay on Sunday.
The athlete, 52, tragically admitted she ‘doesn’t feel she had ever been happy’ but is now able to live her life authentically after years of having her ‘heart ripped apart’.
Filling presenter Phillip Schofield with tears, who came out in February 2021, she detailed her negative experiences in the army, where it was illegal for LGBTQ+ people to serve until 2000.
Open: Dame Kelly Holmes broke down crying during a Monday appearance on This Morning, after coming out as gay on Sunday
Speaking on the daytime programme to promote her Being Me documentary, which will air on ITV on Sunday, the Olympian began: ‘When it was announced, I was in a bubble and the reaction was amazing but I felt it wasn’t the real world.
‘Now sitting here today, it feels like the real world. This is such a big step for me to be open and honest.
‘I feel that was one reason I wanted to do the documentary, I needed to talk about this for myself and the documentary was a way of me articulating the fear I’ve had for many year.
‘It informs people of the complexities of being gay. I’ve never said that publicly on TV and people don’t realise how hard it is to say it on TV. I’m not ashamed but I’ve had to keep it inside all these years.’
Candid: Filling presenter Phillip Schofield with tears, who came out in February 2021, she detailed her negative experiences in the army, where it was illegal for LGBTQ+ people to serve until 2000
‘You’ve read about the rules of homosexuality in the army that it was illegal to be gay until 2000 but you can’t change who you are.
‘I loved being a soldier yet I couldn’t express that and it was really difficult. There was interrogation that happened and I speak to people who dealt with really shocking things, raids, it was scary, humiliating, embarrassing.’
‘People were tipped off and they would come into your barracks and empty your drawers and try and find if there was any evidence you would be gay.
‘My friends and family used to write to me, everything went into a box. They’d say, ‘Love Kerry or Lisa,’ my best friend from school, you would put it in the boot of your car so the court marshal wouldn’t see.
‘What you have to remember is it’s a career, people fought for their country. The documentary also goes through how great it is now. I have a love hate relationship, I was never able to tell them, I could never be me.
‘This is 34 years of being so scared if they found out I would be in trouble, it was only when I had a bad breakdown in December 2020, I’ve always spoken very openly about my mental health but I’ve always been able to relate it to sport but I because I became a self harmer I didn’t want to be here frankly at some points in my life and in 2020 I had a really bad breakdown if I didn’t release it I didn’t know what to do.