After announcing her split from husband Tom Schwartz earlier this week, Katie Maloney spoke more openly about what lead to the end of their marriage during an episode of her You’re Gonna Love Me podcast released on Friday.
The 35-year-old Vanderpump Rules star, who had been with Tom for 12 years, fought through tears as she admitted: ‘ultimately, I just wasn’t happy.’
They both confirmed the end of their relationship in posts shared on social media earlier in the week, with Tom taking the blame for the separation and ‘fully respecting’ Katie’s decision to end their union.
Getting candid: After announcing her split from husband Tom Schwartz earlier this week, Katie Maloney spoke more openly about it on Friday
Katie showed appreciation to her followers for their support as she noted, ‘I know [for] some people [it] may seem like a shock, or it may seem like an abrupt thing, but for us it’s not like we just decided this this week or yesterday or the day before.’
She explained that her feelings of unhappiness had been brewing for some time as she added, ‘It got to a point where it felt like I was going to burst. For months it was building up.’
Elaborating, she continued: ‘I felt disconnected, I felt like I was drifted away further and further, I felt like I was drifting. And I couldn’t stop it.’
She said having to tell her longtime partner she wanted to end things was ‘the hardest thing to do.’
Splitsville: The 35-year-old Vanderpump Rules star used her You’re Gonna Love Me podcast to get candid about what led to the breakup
The podcast host emphasized that the breakup wasn’t due to one specific conflict in the relationship.
‘There wasn’t some kind of crazy incident that happened, there wasn’t some crazy fight that resulted in this.
‘It was my decision, which was probably the hardest and most painful decision I’ve ever had to make.’
Looking for a way to describe her thought process she lamented, ‘The best and only way I can describe it is just like waking up inside of my life and having this voice that just became louder and louder, and just events in my life and our relationship coming into focus and feeling the weight of them on me.’
The Bravo TV star added that there were more details that she might be wiling to divulge in the future.
‘And there’s other things that maybe one day I can talk about, but I don’t really want to get into all that at the moment,’ she stated.
‘But I just realized that the choice I had to make was to just open up and tell him how I was feeling.’
Long time coming: Katie explained that her feelings of unhappiness had been brewing for some time as she added, ‘It got to a point where it felt like I was going to burst. For months it was building up’
‘I love Tom, we built a life together, and he was my person and I wanted to be him with forever. But ultimately, I just wasn’t happy,’ Kate admitted.
‘It just became more clear, and I could just no longer deny it.’
The reality TV star also took time to acknowledge the positive moments in their relationship as she revealed, ‘There were so many happy moments, even day to day. I love being with him, but ultimately, I was just not fulfilled.’
Maloney chose to put herself first in the end. ‘I had to really just start prioritizing myself and my happiness as well,’ she explained. ‘It just needed to happen.’
Same home: Despite the breakup, the two are still living under the same roof for now
Despite the breakup, the two are still living under the same roof for now.
‘We do still live together in our house, and we’re just trying to navigate these steps together and really work on becoming friends in that sense,’ she admitted.
‘Obviously we have the same friends and trying to hang out in a group together going through this and not making it awkward for anyone and not make anyone choose sides — that’s been important to us,’ she continued.
For Tom’s part, when asked how he was doing after the breakup, the Minnesota native replied, ‘Of course I’m sad, but, you know, we still love each other very much.’
Schwartz also revealed he’s been busy preparing for the opening of the new bar he will co-run with co-star Tom Sandoval. ‘I’m doing OK. I’m staying busy,’ he said.
Next steps: ‘We do still live together in our house, and we’re just trying to navigate these steps together and really work on becoming friends in that sense,’ Kate admitted on her podcast
The two previously announced the news on Tuesday in a pair of Instagram posts.
Schwartz’s post began with him expressing how much it ‘sucks’ that he and Maloney will not be continuing their lives as a couple.
‘Well this sucks. How am I supposed to capture 12 years of love in a f***in canned Instagram caption. What picture am I supposed to use? Is there a go-to break up font?
He went on to ‘clear the air on some rumors floating around’ by confirming their separation and stressing he respects Maloney’s ‘decision’ to end the relationship.
‘After nine years on a reality TV-show it feels a little tone def to say ‘please respect our privacy’ (especially while posting this) so instead I’ll ask to please be kind.
‘I don’t fault you for any snap judgement. If I was watching us on VPR for the last 9 years I’d be making them too.’
Announcement: The two previously announced the news on Tuesday in a pair of Instagram posts
‘Perception gets skewed [because] of seeing snippets of our lives on the show, but I am telling you we had some of the most blissful, romantic, fun times humanly possible over the course of our relationship.
‘I’m talking heaven on earth level joy. She taught me so much about love & being a better partner.’
Schwartz said that although it’s ‘hard not to be feel like a statistic’ for being ‘another failed marriage,’ he does not look at his relationship with Maloney as a ‘failure.’
‘As sad as I am, I am happy to say there is no anger or bitterness. Zero. Still so much love for you @musickillskate and your family,’ he wrote, tagging Maloney’s Instagram.
‘I don’t think we were ever a model couple. Maybe we are model divorcees. A dubious title I suppose. Also I am aware of tragedies taking place in the world right now. I have perspective here. I’ll be fine.’
Positive outlook: Schwartz said that although it’s ‘hard not to be feel like a statistic’ for being ‘another failed marriage,’ he does not look at his relationship with Maloney as a ‘failure’
‘So, I will shut up now and say it one last time, love you Bub. Always & forever you’ll be in my heart. On my a**? Maybe not so much,’ concluded Schwartz.
Along with his length text post, the TomTom Restaurant & Bar owner included a number of his favorite snapshots of Maloney, as well as several shots of the couple together through the years.
For Maloney’s statement, the 35-year-old reality star admitted to her 1.1 million followers that she ‘never thought I would have to make an announcement like this.
‘But I feel it’s important that I’m open about my life with you. After 12 years on an adventure through life together, Tom and I are ending our marriage,’ she wrote
‘This ending is not met with resentment or animosity, no sides to choose. We have deep admiration for one another that will always remain and we cherish our friendship.
‘Although we may be on different paths we will continue to love and support one another’s happiness. Thank you for all the kind words and support,’ she concluded.
The pair were together for 12 years and officially married for the past two. Fans have been able to watch nearly the entirety of their relationship play out on the small screen.
Long journey: The pair were together for 12 years and officially married for the past two. Fans have been able to watch nearly the entirety of their relationship play out on the small screen